Wait, that’s not the phrase, is it….
Okay, let me explain. My name is Kaitlyn, and I am a 5’2, small(ish)-framed human with a baby face. I am going to be asked for my ID until I’m at least fifty. Though I am 24 years old, but the roles that I am cast in on the stage typically range from 10-15 years old. Oh how I have longed to hit puberty in the performance world!
Hey, I won’t complain- I have been extremely fortunate to have played amazing young roles in my time thus far. However, through the never-ending cycle of same-age roles, I made myself a happy little home within a cardboard box that the industry had provided me. I found some comfort within the un-comfiness(not a word… but let’s just go with it) that is being an artist.
Until I began this project.
What drew me to this project was the challenge of stepping outside of my little cardboard box. To oil up my rusty machine of playing roles my own age, and older. This was terrifying. Before I got here, I spent many frustrating hours trying to figure out how the hell a 50-something year-old woman was going to sit in my body. How do I play this role authentically, but still putting it in a place that is real to me?
In reality, I can’t pretend that I am any taller, older, or wiser. But there is a beautiful word in this industry called PROCESS- a word I overuse because of its importance. Process means that you never get it right the first time- or the second, or third, or fourth, or EVER(yikes, imagine that?!). I might get to opening night having not convinced anyone that I have eleven children and got both of my hips replaced. But, when I get to opening night, I will have something that I am proud of. I will have acquired tools that I didn’t have previously. I will have learned so many things I never knew from the wisdom, creativity and support of my cast and creative team. I will approach older roles with a lot more confidence. I will have a greater understanding of my body and what it can do.
I have already learned so much through the guidance of our director, Jessica Hickman, who has provided us with a safe space and incredible tools to be able to explore ourselves, and continuously discover where each of these characters sit within us.
Being an artist has helped me have a much greater understanding on life, as well as performing (it wouldn’t be a Kaitlyn blog post without a small existential rant). Being happy with your journey, rather than the end result, has helped me tremendously on how I choose to guide my life. I find beauty in smaller moments, I try to remind myself that is is okay to make mistakes, and I try to forgive myself constantly for being human.
I am not a perfect person. I am not a perfect artist. I am always a work in progress and that is something I am proud of.
- Kaitlyn Yott (Performer)