The little monster

As those of you closely monitoring the creation blogs will have noticed, I have not written as many posts as i should have. There is a reason for this that i would like to share: of all of the aspects of this process of building a piece of theatre out of thin air, describing to the world and having immortalized via the internet ether my thoughts and fears, is by far the most daunting. The idea that whatever i write exits forever for anyone to see sends my heartrate through the roof. This is not something that i have shared with the group, before now, as i am self consious about it, but i feel compelled to do so out of respect for the tremendous amount of work and energy that the entire collective has invested, with the leadership of Sam and Jess. So, fomally now, I appologize for being remiss in my duties to record my process within the collective on the blog. It was not done out of laziness or disinterest, but rather dread. As i write this, my heartrate is well over 100 beats per minute. Anxiety is nothing new to me. I have been managing it for over ten years but it still manages to get the better of me in certain circumstances. I am aware right now of the contradiction in my explaining how i am unable to on the internet... on the internet. I can only repeat that i wanted the group and particularly Sam and Jess to know because they have done so much work and i don't wan't them finishing this first phase of their first project feeling that it was neither appreciated nor respected in the degree that it should be by one of their company.  I thank open pit and all my fellow performers for an eye-opening summer. xox

- Adele