learning how to drive

It's funny, when I come to write this with a week and a half to go I find all the early thoughts I had about process and progress are out the window and I'm thinking more about how the end of this will feel on the emotional plane, how we're all going to scatter and this time will have passed.

I'm really smart in rehearsal though, don't worry. I don't forget about intellectual processes there. Just when I get home.

I want to acknowledge the emotional bit, I suppose. I'm attached to this group of people, this time, and this work. It came at the right time for me. This process and these workmates have kicked me in the ass, in the best way. This kind of work is hard. You need to get things wrong, you need to get out your shitty ideas in order to hit on something better, you need to practice. You need to work on your craft. It doesn't just come, things don't just come to you. This work has reminded me of that. It has reminded me of where my interests lie and that I need to learn about things before I can expect to be good at them. You can't drive fast without first learning how to start the car.

We have a running order. We have text. We have a show. We have a world, we have people who populate it with their stories and their movements, all of that which comes from us. As a group.

This is so much more exciting to me than the words of a single playwright on a page. I like playwrights. I like words, I like plays. But to be inside a group of people who have made something from themselves and are working to edit themselves, hone their work and their thoughts, it's a really exhilarating thing.

We fit together now in a way that we couldn't have at first. We know each other now, and how we work. We couldn't have driven our collective car as fast in June as we can now.

We have another open rehearsal tomorrow (Wednesday August 10) from 6:00pm to 8:00pm, please come by!